Wednesday, 3 January 2018

Women At Work

One day you are walking along the deck of the ship when you hear a loud bang. You start to run as you see smoke coming from the far end of the ship. You run towards the room where your patients are waiting to receive treatment from the doctor. Just as you arrive at the door to their room you hear another loud bang and I look out the window and I see two holes in the boat. Oh no! I thought to myself, what am I going to do? I sound the alarm and I started shouting "The boat is sinking!". All of a sudden the boat is in a lean so we start to evacuate people on to the lifeboats. That was defiantly not an easy job for some of the patients. We had to squeeze everyone in tightly. The boat was now sinking really fast. I did not have much time left. I was about to hop in a lifeboat when I remember that I had forgotten one person. I run as fast as a cheetah to the back of the boat. I grab the solider and run. I start to see water bubbling up from the deck. I jump into the lifeboat and watch the big boat sink. I thought to myself man I'm lucky.


  1. Hi Abby!

    Superwoman Abby to the rescue! What an action-packed story!
    I liked the parts where you had some really strong descriptions like "as fast as a cheetah" and "I started to see water bubbling from the deck".
    I can only imagine how much panicing I would have done if I was on your boat.
    I also think that soldier was lucky to have a superstar nurse like you to make sure he was on the life boat safety! I'd be pretty sad being left behind if I was injured.

    This is some awesome creative writing Abby, you have made a really imaginative story that was a lot of fun to read - Keep it up!
    Ellee :)

    1. Thank you Ellee for your comment.

    2. No problem Abby, looking forward to reading your next posts!

      Ellee :)


Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comments.